Category Archives: Uncategorized
Texas weather is rarely predictable from November through April. This year has been a constant back and forth of cold and hot. Our days seem to go from one extreme to the other. One day I went in to my job and it was 76F by the time I left work is was in the mid 30s. The next day we were sitting in the sixties again. You never know how to dress. Rain is a constant threat this time of year. So, an umbrella is a necessary accessory to have on a daily basis. And of course, when the weather changes, everyone fights off some sort of crud. I’m no exception.
Last week I was at the doctor for yet another upper respiratory infection. This is my second round with this. I’m not thrilled but the antibiotics are helpful and thank God I have sick time to take that is paid at this point; otherwise there would also be bills to worry about while I heal. As it stands, I paid my copay, got my meds, and am on the mend.
Feeling better than I was. For the last couple weeks, I’ve just not had the energy to do much of anything. It was as though I couldn’t get enough sleep. I worked, I came home, I napped, and did only the bare minimum. This left little time to get the creative juices going. Dare I even mention my lack of attention to my activity goals for this year? I didn’t get to the pool at all. And I miss it. So I have to get back to it tomorrow. Routine is not my forte right now.
I am in love with a new skincare and pampering line that I was introduced to. I like it so much that I opted to do the consultant thing and make a little cash for going on about it with my social contacts. So yes, I am an official Perfectly Posh Independent Consultant. You can check out the website and so forth if you are so inclined to help a writer out. One of the many supplements to the income stream so that I can pursue writing on a more full-time basis.
Honestly, I do love the products. I’ll be booking some in-person and virtual parties. Doing a bit of selling when I’m able to. But we’ll see how it goes. I won’t be heart broken if it fizzles out for me. I know how the MLM schemes work. I’m not going to hard sell anyone. Or be annoying about it. Just one more thing that has happened that I wanted to mention.
What else is there?
I am planning a vacation in the beginning of June. So I’m excited to be going to see friends and family again. It’s been too long. I’m overdue some fun times. I also plan to do a writer’s retreat weekend sooner than that. Taking time away for a night or two for the sake of focusing on a project and getting lost in it. That’s something that I can say is difficult when I’m working a full-time job. It’s hard to find the hours to sit down lost in my story. I need to though. I’m overdue for some serious time in the chair with the world of my own making. I think it is far more interesting than the one outside my door. But, I’m partial.
Valentine’s Day was fairly uneventful. My mom bought me one of those Fragrant Jewel Bath Bombs. It had this lovely pink ice ring inside it. It was a great gift really. I was pampered in the tub and then had sparklies to boot. What more can a girl ask for? Maybe a mani because my nails are a mess lately. I really need to think about doing that for myself on payday.
Oh I should also get a picture in the new glasses. Since I got those last week as well. They’ve been a much needed change for me. These help my headaches and lessen the eye strain from being on the computer so much during the day.
I recently purchased a few books that I wanted to read and haven’t gotten around to. Currently on the list, I’m reading Prince Lestat by Anne Rice. I was a fan of the earlier work in the Vampire Chronicles so I am hopeful with this one that she’s gone back to the style and work that I enjoyed so much.
Now, I am going to rest and get back to the grindstone tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll find myself with some time to devote to the book or a short story.
It has been quite a long time since I have touched this blog. I’m not really sure that anyone read much of it before. If they were, my lack of content certainly drove them away over the last year or so. The truth is, my forte is not in blogging. My writing is meant for story telling. This is why I find blogging on a specific topic tedious. I’ve given it a good try and put focus into another blog project for a year but, nothing came from the effort and I was left blocked for ideas as a result. So here I am rethinking my approach yet again.
When I was younger I took part in sites like Livejournal and deviantArt. I used these to put short work out there and get opinions as well as record my thoughts and ideas on various topics including my daily life. These sites helped me to connect to a larger community and even resulted in friendships offline as well. I have to admit that I found those experiences to be much more fulfilling than my efforts at a more professional, topic-focused, blog. So, I am going back to writing about life and things that make me curious or thoughtful. This means that my space on the interwebs is likely to turn very random. But that’s okay.
This blog turns into a real window into my world starting with this post.
I’m not just a writer. I wear a lot of different hats. I work too much at a day job in finance but, I like my paycheck. I bake and decorate cakes and cookies with my Mom. I also do various crafts and am dabbling in producing paintings and artwork. I am sure that these will come up in my posts and I’ll share some of my pictures and so forth as time goes on. Some of these areas I’m still learning in but I find them enjoyable. And I am always trying new things like playing the violin, macrame, and gourmet cooking for the family and friends.
I am trying to be more active than I have been in recent years. To that end I joined a local gym that has a pool. I’ve been swimming and that’s been a really good thing for me. I love being in the water. And my evening swimtime is something I look forward to. There is a certain solace in that pool. Just me and the water, it gives me time to think. Whether that’s about my lack of social life, work, or a writing issue I get time to think every time I get in the water. Sometimes it is a meditative experience.
Speaking of my lack of social life I do spend a lot of my time with this little guy. Pippin is my baby and an absolute joy in my life. So there will likely be lots of pictures and anectdotes to share. When I am not at the office for my day job, he is usually with me working on whatever I am doing. He’s quite the cuddlebug. And just look at those ears! How can you resist? I’m partial, I know. But he is my companion and I do so love his sweet little face.
That lack of social life is something I need to work on. Finding friends is difficult when you work like I do. I know, I need to get out more. So you may find me blogging on a weekend from a cafe or some other such thing. Just to say I get out.
So, I won’t bore you with a complete run down of my life in a single post. If you want to get to know the woman behind the books, this is the place to be. Oh and I’m sure there will be book news as well… just give me time to find my groove again.
In May of 2013 I published my debut novel The Secret of the Storm. As a new author, I am excited at the response from my readers and that it has been so positive. I will admit that I was very surprised when I kept hearing the same feedback from readers; when is the sequel coming out?
Truth is, I hadn’t planned to make a return trip to Slauson Cove. When I finished The Secret of the Storm, I didn’t exactly think that people would want to hear more about Elora and the Walsingham family. I even moved on to new projects including a major series. How wrong I was though. Nearly everyone who has read the book has been calling me out for another book about Elora and the Walsingham family. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I wouldn’t mind going back to the sleepy little seaside town and telling more about what happens after the prophecy seems to be fulfilled.
People want to hear more about Elora and her family and friends. This is great for me. It means that I did something right in crafting that story. Producing another book is definitely on the to do list but, as I said previously, I did move on to other large scale projects that are eating a great deal of my time. One of those is nearly ready to hit the press. Taking the time to write another impromptu book is going to take resources that I don’t have.
I’ve started an Indiegogo project to fund what I need to get another Slauson Cove book in the works. There are so many things that go into producing a book. I want to do this right and I want to be able to pay other indie-artists and freelancers to help me make it the best it can be. That means I need funds to work with. Not only will I need those to pay the people helping but, I’ll need money to help me promote it once it does come out.
I’m trying to raise $4,000.00 through Indiegogo. The campaign will last 60 days starting August 1st. I’ve chosen to go with the flexible funding option so that if we don’t reach the total goal I can still keep working on a more limited budget for those who do want to see the book come out.
Donating is simple and can be done via the campaign site using your Paypal account or a major credit card. Simply choose your level of support. Many of the levels include a tangible copy of the book sent to you when it is completed. The details of each level are there for you to see. Donors will be featured in a post here on the blog and will also have a special place on the main header as soon as the campaign ends and I receive the list of donors. This will likely be in early to mid October.
Work will be starting on the book in September. But books won’t be mailed until all is finished sometime in April or May of 2014. Writing a book takes time and I’m wearing a lot of hats. I’m a mom, a teacher, a writer, a publicist, a homemaker, and I am trying to market with social media and promotion tours here in East Texas.
For the next few weeks, you’ll see posts here about the upcoming release and the perks that I’m offering and why I’ve chosen them at various levels. If you can support the cause, please know that you’re not just helping me take some luxury vacation or buy some sort of trinket. You’re helping me get my career and life on track. You’re helping put a little girl in dance classes, paying for education costs, and helping enable me to stay home so I can focus on the two things I love most my family and my stories.
So please, at least read the campaign here. I know that times are tough and everyone else is struggling just as we are here. But there are other ways that you can help. Boost the signal and send it out to your social media. Tell people why you’d support it if you could. You never know, it may inspire someone else to contribute where you couldn’t. I will also be posting a flyer for you print off. You can post it wherever businesses will allow you to do so. Public bulletin boards are great places for this. You can also ask your local librarian, post it in your dorm, pass it around your reading and writing circles. There are any number of ways to get people to notice the project. The more people do, the more likely I am to reach my goal. And I can’t do that without all your support.
Thanks in advance for all the support you’re showing me. As a special celebration to get things kicked off, I’ve been able to lower the price on my Kindle Edition of The Secret of the Storm to $2.99. That will last through August 10th. So, it is a chance to get the original story at nearly half price. If you haven’t already read it. I suggest picking it up and getting to know Elora Castain and the Walsinghams.
I’ve been working hard lately. I am adjusting to a new house, being a mom full time, and figuring out schedules for the fiance’s new job. There are the usual obstacles to overcome in all of this like bills, checking accounts, getting a household properly managed. We still have to get stuff out of my storage and decide what to keep and what to put away or get rid of between us. We’ have no phone or internet service yet and that is something that will need to wait to get; there are priorities that have to be set.
I’m not too upset about that aspect though. As much as I like to be able to post every day or so here, it keeps me focused on what I need to be working on. I’m writing more, handling things around the house, and am generally happier. I suppose that is an unexpected perk to the “unplugging” that has happened. I’m not playing games on facebook or updating as much. I spent way more time on there than I would like to admit to. So, I’m focused on things like my writing career and my family for a change.
But it sometimes seems like Murphy’s Law is at work here. On top of everything the fuel pump went out on my truck. So now, until we get the funds together for the part, we’re pretty much stuck at home unless we walk. Of course, we’re lucky that we have family around to help out. I hate to ask for much though. Everyone has been wonderful to help out and you just hate to take advantage of it. They all have their own struggles as well.
Tonight I’m sitting at the local McDonalds checking my email while having a coke and an ice cream cone with the hubby and the munchkin. She did okay on her homeschool this week so we’re doing a family treat partly so she can play around and have some summertime fun and partly because Charles and I need an internet fix. This will be a weekend at home for us. Though, Charles is working this weekend at a new job. We’re excited about all of this really. There are a lot of changes happening and these are good things. Everything feels more like it is coming together from my perspective than they have in years.
We were able to get some pictures made last weekend. We had a member of the family who is starting up a photography business and we were a sort of guinea pig. We ended up with some engagement photos for Charles and I, some pictures of the munchkin, then some of all of us. Christina also took some new headshots for me to use on the blog here and for promo purposes. I’ll be putting her information on the site to help boost her signal online.
I’m excited though. I’m excited to see my little family coming together finally. Though, we had one missing from the pictures. She knows who she is, though I doubt she even reads this blog being a teenager. But things are feeling more settled for me. The inspiration is still going strong and I’m hoping that I can beat my original deadline and release the next book a little sooner than I anticipated. We’ll see and I will keep everyone posted on that, as soon as I know more.
My first book is still out there and available for purchase on Amazon. I am getting together somethings and hope to make an announcement soon about a crowdfunded sequel to that project which will help boost my productivity and give my readers some special incentives including a couple of perks like having lunch with me and a specially designed necklace from the book. (If you’ve read the book, you’ll have an idea of which one.) So keep your email open, follow my posts (they won’t be too terribly frequent) and you’ll get information on that coming in the next few weeks.
For now, I’m going to get back to some family time. I’m going to enjoy my ice cream, watch the little one play, and laugh at silly things with my fiance.
Being a writer is not an easy way of life. Some people seem to think it is. They think we all sit around in our pajamas all day, sipping wine or a spirit of choice, tapping away at a keyboard and then playing games most of the time. Then we miraculously sell a book, make millions, and live on easy street while we play with our stories.
Oh how I wish it worked this way! I would be living the high life by now if it did. But, the reality is far different from what you see in the movies. In fact, the only reason that people take it on is because they love to do it or they have an idea that they just can’t let go of. For me, it is a bit of both. I have plenty of ideas that I want to put into words but, I love what I do. Like all writers, I want to do it full time.
There are things that I have to consider though. I have bills and a child to think about. While I want to write full time, that can’t happen without people buying my books and supporting what I do. It takes a great deal of time to produce a book. Then it takes even more time to publicize and promote a book once it is in print.
For me, there are challenges right now that I’m not used to facing. The fact that I have a child in the house full-time is new to me. It is a wonderful thing but juggling the kiddo and the writing is a big challenge for me. While I’m arguing to get her to finish her handwriting practice or reading a simple book my attention is wholly focused on her and getting that done so that she learns. As a mom I am responsible for her learning and understanding what she’s being taught. I take that seriously. But the moment the schoolwork is done there is the constant chirping of:
“Momma can I have a drink?”
“Momma what are we going to have for supper?”
“Momma what is that smell?”
“Can I watch a movie?”
“When will Daddy be home?”
“Can I go outside and play?”
“Watch this Momma!”
“Look at me Momma!”
So, it is a constant juggling act. My attention is rarely focused on the writing when I am working on it. I’m always listening for the silence and having to get up to see what she is into, when I send her to her room to play.
Charles did set up the desk at the window so that I could watch her and work at the same time. Where it is sitting I can see the majority of the yard. I only let her go out when there are other kids out there. Then there is the fact that we managed to get a TV and DVD player in her room. So, now, instead of having to write with Oliver and Company or the Care Bear Movie in the background, she can watch them in her room instead.
This whole process has been a learning curve for me. Trying to get keep it all in check, learn how to work with people around more often, and manage a household while trying to write is a challenge and a half. It is one that I welcome though. In fact, I wouldn’t have my life any other way right now.
Then there are the challenges that all writers face. The midnight oil burning as you pour over the manuscript wondering if you’ll ever be satisfied enough with it to call it finished. The agonizing over a pivotal scene and details like; whether or not the hero should have worn white or burnt orange as he slays the villain. The plot twists to add to the story come to mind. Did you put enough description into the prose? What statement about social issues are you presenting and will some humanities professor tear it apart and call you insane like they did Van Gogh.
We can’t forget the question of how to get the book into the hands of readers. Decisions about whether to hire an agent or not, traditional or indie publishing, and of course how are you going to market and get the book into the hands of readers all come to mind. You see, so much about writing isn’t really about the writing. Now it isn’t enough to simply write stories that fascinate people. You have to be fascinating yourself and wear a multitude of hats in order to put your work out there and get noticed.
It is all one big challenge after another really.
For me, I’m trying new ways to reach an audience. I’m attempting to narrow down who I am writing for. I’m looking into the options of crowdfunding the sequel to The Secret of the Storm and I’m trying to engage my audience using Facebook. And now I’m in the process of starting to set up a local area book tour. That will enable me to get out and meet the people who are making it possible for me to follow a dream and help support the family while staying home to be a mom and teacher to this little girl.
For everyone reading who has a creative person in their life: just remember that they need a little room to do their thing. I’m one of the lucky ones. Charles understands my need to work like I do. He’s a huge supporter of my work and what I do. In July there will be big changes for me in the writing field. I’m hoping to be able to announce a release date by the end of the month on The Fallen One. And I’m looking forward to promoting The Secret of the Storm locally as well. If you haven’t picked up your copy in print or for Kindle you can do so here.
Just remember folks, when you support an independent author, artist, or even a local business you aren’t padding the pockets of executives. You’re helping people stay in their homes, feed their kids, buy that jersey for a sport or leotards for dance classes etc. You’re helping to make lives better and giving back to your community to those who are giving what they know how to give to the world.
My post about the Kickstarter fiasco last night. You know, the one where the douchebag was trying to produce a how-to guide on “getting women” that was more a guide on how to on sexual assault. The petition was met with some resistance initially. In fact, it seemed that Kickstarter was just ignoring the 60,000+ people who were against the funding of this project. However, as a signer of the petition I got an email from dosomething.org last night stating that “We Won”.
Kickstarter issued a formal statement of apology. You can view it here: Kickstater Apology . They donated $25,000.00 to RAINN, which is commendable considering that they gave Mr. Hoinsky the $16,000.00 + that was donated to his project. Apparently Mr. Hoinsky has agreed to meet with petition organizers though, what good that will do, I’m not entirely sure. I find it difficult to think that such a person can turn this into a positive project if he continues to produce what his examples exhibited.
I did a great deal of thinking and talking about this issue. My fiance and I actually discussed the whole situation at length and I realized a few things.
Yes, I was angry with Kickstarter for even allowing such a project to go onto the site and be presented to the public. I mean this, for me, is not considered a creative project. The project was not presented as satirical. Frankly, even if it had been presented as a comedic piece, I still would have found it offensive and in bad taste. However, if it had been presented as such, I could have justified it’s inclusion as a creative work. But the bottom line is that the examples submitted were nothing short of promoting sexual violence. I understand the reasons that Kickstarter hesitated and then funded the project. As a creator, if my project had funded, I would have expected to receive the funds as well. They wanted to fulfill their end of the bargain. Fact is, the process is so automated that by the time they acted, it was too late to stop the transfer of funds.
I get it. Really, I do. It still seems like too little too late.
There was no reason, given the severity of the allegations against this project, that it could not be suspended pending an investigation into the project and its compliance with the terms of service. As a creator, yes, it would have been an inconvenience to not receive the funds immediately. The fact is, if my project was on the level I know I would have received my funds once their inquiries were concluded. The fact that Kickstarter failed to act at all is my complaint.
After all the discussion – especially with Charles – I realized that while I was upset with Kickstarter, I was more upset with the fact that there were people out there willing to promote and support such an endeavor at all.
We’re living in the year 2013. I had hoped that, by and large, we had evolved beyond thinking that one sex or the other is there to be objectified. That we would somehow find a way to get past the nonsense that says women are there simply to fulfill some sort of physical need. That we can find a way to respect one another and live with a certain amount of respect for our fellow human beings.
Then, I remembered that every time you turn on the television, watch the news, or read online or in print you see story after story about people being abducted, raped, beaten, murdered, and tortured. If it isn’t here in the USA, its somewhere else. That, is what is really disheartening for me. That we can’t just live and let live. We can’t seem to get past our propensity to hurt one another. That there are handbooks on how to do these things and then, there are people out there, like Mr. Hoinsky, who are more than happy to put the ideas in people’s heads to do nothing more than harm others.
Yes, it is just sad to me that we can’t seem to get beyond it all.
It has once again been a while since I last posted. I am happy to say that I have a good excuse for my absence. One that, in all honesty, I should have talked about prior to it all happening but, with everything that’s happened in the last two years, I was afraid of jinxing it. Considering how hard my fiance and I have been working toward this for a while, I didn’t want to speak prematurely. Then when it happened it was all so fast that honestly, my head is still spinning.
We got our own apartment finally. Not that the arrangement we were both in was all that bad, it wasn’t. It was just time for us to have our own space for a change and get on with our own family life. So, we’ve done just that. Yes, there are still things to work out. But things are all coming together finally. It seems like it has been a long time in coming honestly. I couldn’t be happier though.
Writing is, of course, going slow at the moment. Unpacking takes a toll on you. But, after next week it seems I will be back in the saddle on a regular basis. And let me just say that will feel pretty good. I am feeling very inspired in the new apartment though, I don’t think it is the apartment itself so much as it is the company within it. Having the ability to feel like I have my household again is something that I have wanted for a while. To actually have it is a little surreal right now. Things have become blissfully normal.
I am keeping this short to get back to work on things while I have a chance. Just know that I’m working on scheduling things. If you email me it may take me a week to respond. Just be aware and I’ll say thanks in advance for your patience. I’ll be back to posting regularly soon.
First off, apologies to all of you dear followers and readers. If you’ve been following for the last couple weeks, you’ll know that I’ve been trying to keep something of a schedule here on The Writer’s Studio while finishing continuity edits and trying to juggle everything else going on. I have been slacking a bit the last few days though. For that, I do apologize.
You see, I am incredibly blessed. I have an amazing family that includes my fiance and our six year old. A whole group of extended family and well, because I enjoy it, I spend a good amount of time over there with them. The weekends are the typical time for me to spend all day but, Charles has had a few days off from his job and it is our little girl’s last week of Kindergarten.
We are all excited to be attending her graduation tomorrow morning. So, why am I sitting here at nearly midnight, when I have to get up at six in the A.M.? It would be an excellent question to ask.
The answer is really quite simple though. There was more big news for me today. After more than two and a half weeks of waiting Amazon finally sent me the news that the technical glitch was fixed. That means, The Secret of the Storm is now available for purchase as a paperback edition as well as in ebook for the Kindle. It also means that I can finally start planning a book-launch event and booking signing events here in East Texas.
It is all very exciting for me. I’m sure that it will be something that I talk about often in the weeks ahead. Not to worry though, the blog isn’t going to become one big promotion for the book. There are plenty of other things I have to talk about and give my two bits on.
That being said, the state of the fluff lately is up in the air. I’ve been on the go, lost my voice intermittently thanks to some sort of allergy attack or cold, and haven’t been paying much attention to what I’m eating. So, we’re going to have to jump back on the band wagon at some point. I think I’m going go back to doing my “health sheets” to track and maybe that will give me some motivation. You’d think that a pending wedding would be enough, right?
Keeping it simple so that I can still get some rest. If you have ideas for book-launch events, how to get the word out about the book, or just words of encouragement (this is my first “major event” with our daughter as someone she calls Mom) I will gladly take them in comments or by email. If you haven’t liked my facebook page, feel free to. There is a box on the right for easy access. I look forward to meeting all the readers as time goes on. And yes, I do try to answer all my messages.
Wish me luck! And thanks for sticking with me. Share a link. My philosophy around here is; the more the merrier.
So, in honor of Memorial Day, I kept my post to the day and what it was about. Now that we’re all through the barbecues and swimming and ushering in the summer, it is time to get back to the regular posts.
Last week was full of stress factors for me. I work for a temp agency at the moment doing clerical work for a clinic. All in all, it isn’t a bad gig. Fact is, I enjoy what I am doing and the people I am working with. I wouldn’t be opposed to the job going full time however, that isn’t likely to happen because the position that I’m in is supposed to be bilingual. Such is the story of my life, it is always something it seems.
Anyway, I opted to work a day in an outlying clinic over an hour away last week. The normal receptionist was taking a day off and they needed someone to cover. I didn’t mind going. In fact, my day was nice and quiet at the office.
The fact is, my fiance has been working on getting my truck tuned up to try and save on fuel costs. On the way to the clinic, my truck lost acceleration on the hills and my gas tank was draining unbelievably fast. Then when I was coming home in the middle of a major thunderstorm with tornado warnings (something I’m a little phobic about) the truck decided to stop working all together. It just died.
Thank God my Dad was just coming through there on his way to work when it happened. He turned around and came to me and got me home. But here I was car-less for three days until Dad got a fuel filter and changed it out. I had to go to Walmart when it was done and I stopped at the fiance’s house. He immediately went to tweaking things and ended up tweaking more over the holiday weekend to where, now, its running like a champ.
So thankful that the men in my life now are good with cars. I know nothing about them really. I can check the fluids, tell when something isn’t quite right, or explain the noises and make a guess on what is happening but, to get under the hood and know what I am looking at, yeah… no.
I didn’t do terrible over the holiday weekend. We kept things fairly light. Though Saturday, we ate way too much pizza when we took the munchkin on her first trip to Chuck E Cheese. We all had fun though. Her dad and I played as many games as she did. And I loved every minute of it. I love the fact that we can cut loose and just have fun even if we do look like a couple of dorks in the process.
As for the currents of the day. Here’s my list:
Currently Drinking : Dr. Pepper & Coffee today Writing fuel since I get one more day with the manuscript.
Currently Eating: I have no idea yet. Likely just sandwiches or something like that.
Currently Reading: The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman I picked it up this weekend after doing bridal registry at Bed Bath & Beyond. Had to go to Books-A-Million because my fiance decided he didn’t want to “girl shop” as he called it. So, I found him in the bookstore browsing in science fiction. Yes, I laugh at this because I love this man. He’s the type of man I should have married in the first place. He’s a reader. I should be married to someone who has a healthy respect for what I do.
Currently Watching: Nothing really. We didn’t watch Season 2 like planned this weekend. Maybe tomorrow night. Writing this the night before it posts I’m about to turn on some Tom & Jerry cartoons and crash though.
Currently wearing: Jogging shorts and a sleeveless ribbed shirt. Kept it simple. All black. Needed something cool today.
Currently Looking Forward To: Getting word about the print edition of my book so that I can get on with marketing.
Currently Working On: The series that I will be releasing this summer. Book One is nearing completion at this point. Will be giving some sneak peeks in the weeks to come and will likely post about it at length in this week’s writing post.
Currently Listening To: Some vacation tunes. I’ve always had a soft spot for Jimmy Buffett and that island sound. So I’ll leave you with one of my favorites.
You know, I’ve been blessed. Especially with everything that has happened in my life in the last year I am incredibly blessed with a fantastic support system now. And that’s a big thing for an artist. We all need a little bit of support once in a while. And I learned to surround myself with people who build me up and encourage my dreams rather than pull me down. It was a hard lesson, believe me.
It takes a special sort of person to be married to a serious writer. You see, there are different sorts of writers. There are the type who write in journals and keep blogs that are primarily for themselves. There are the sort that write strictly for the gratification of knowing that they can. There are others who write for the social interaction. And yes, I do know that is contrary to everything that Hollywood has put out about the writers. Then there are the type, like me, who actually write to put our work out for the public to read. We’re an odd lot that take a lot of time to ourselves and sometimes seem a bit aloof. Even when we’re spending time with the family we’re usually off in our heads thinking about plots and characters. Then there is the obsession with actually getting things out into print and marketing what work you do put out. So, no it isn’t easy for many people to deal with dedicated writers. My ex-husband certainly had a hard time with it. So much so that he was engaged to another woman before ever letting me know that there were even problems with our relationship.
Not going to lie, I was devastated when that marriage came to an end. More because I was blind-sided by all that happened than it actually being over. The being alone, I could deal with. The feeling like I wasn’t good enough for anyone was another matter entirely. My esteem sunk to an all time low. I didn’t understand how it could have happened or why. I’d put everything I could into that relationship for six years. And you can bet that there is a short story going to come out of what happened. But what came out of that experience was nothing short of amazing.
I realized very quickly who was going to be there for me. Who would help me pick up the pieces of my life and myself and come back from it stronger than ever. I learned who supported my efforts as an author and who just wanted to go along for the ride while I worked my butt off. And I definitely learned that if I did get into another relationship, I needed to find someone who genuinely shared my interests, got my quirky habits, and loved me either because of them or despite them. They needed to be able to spend time alone and not need for me to be hanging on their every movement and word. I needed that person to be interested and believe in what I was doing the same way my family did.
Honestly, I didn’t think I would fall in love again. I think part of me didn’t want to. God had other plans though because I only wanted to meet some friends and get a social life back. Putting up a profile on a dating site seemed to be a logical step since I had no car, no home, and no money. Meeting people was going to be tricky and I really didn’t want to start the bar scene again. I’d had enough of that in my 20’s. Then there was a message and a profile that I couldn’t ignore.
Yes, it was my now fiance.
We had so much in common. Our lists of interests only varied by a few things which were so superficial that it was just funny. We actually argued about reasons for being on there and talking to people at first. Once we got past that small argument, and started really talking, we both wanted to meet. We were so close in location that I finally talked my mom into dropping me off at the local McDonalds to have coffee with him. I expected an hour or two of conversation what happened was completely different.
First of all, when he got my attention and I looked up from my notebook, I was just sort of struck. Here was this really good looking guy who was apparently there to see me. I instantly became self-conscious because, well, you know, hot guys aren’t supposed to fall for the fat chick. It’s some sort of social faux-pas after all. I’d seen pictures of him and thought he was good looking but they really don’t do him justice. Or maybe they do and its just a chemistry thing. The fact that he met my mother and I sent her on another errand so we could continue talking was an indication of how well we hit it off.
We started dating in December and while we both had other obligations with family we really haven’t looked back. The more time we spent together, the more we opened up and the more we realized that we wanted to build a life together. So when he actually proposed on Mother’s Day I was super excited to say yes.
He is definitely a different sort of man than I am accustomed to. He’s a man of principle and who respects women. He’s sensitive to the needs of others and a man of faith. He enjoys time with family and appreciates what he has more than he pines for what he doesn’t. He’s an optimist, loves to work with his hands, enjoys being outdoors and spending quality time together with me and his daughter. He’s interested in what I do, wants to read my work, and is actually willing and able to bounce ideas with me. Mostly he lets me talk things out when I’m stuck for which direction to go.
Maybe most importantly, he makes sure I work on the writing and have time to do what I need to do. Yet, he somehow knows when I need a break or a laugh and will distract me with corny jokes or cheesy music or videos. It amazes me how in-sync we seem to be most of the time. Oh! And he makes the best sweet tea in the world and keeps me in a glass when I’m working. Honestly, its mostly the little things folks.
So, yes, I am incredibly blessed. I have family who has always stuck by me, even when I may not have wanted them to. I have an amazing partner in life now who gets me, loves me, and enhances my life rather than drag me down. In the midst of this, I’ve managed to get two pretty awesome girls in my life too. One may be the best thing to come out of my previous marriage and I’m pretty sure that she was the primary reason for me being in that situation. The other is a bundle of energy and curiosity that inspires me to continue working like I do. But yes, I’m blessed and I wake up thanking God every morning for another day I get to appreciate all those little things that really and truly are just the biggest things in life.