Happiness is a key to being healthy.
Yes, this is my awesome insight for this week. No, it isn’t very profound. But, in my personal experience, it is true.
If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you’ll know that until the last seven or eight months months, my life hasn’t been a very happy one. It is true that I put on a good face for everyone around me. Trying to make it seem like I was happy with things when I wasn’t. But, the reality is that the depression that was rampant in my house was taking its toll on me.
I learned a few things about myself as I was going through the process of figuring out who I was again. I figured out that I was an emotional eater. When I got angry or sad, I ate whatever I could find in the house. When my, then, husband came in he always brought sweets and sodas. When I was down, I couldn’t tell myself not to eat them. He certainly wasn’t helping my attempts to lose weight. His attitude, apathy, and emotionally abusive behavior toward me only added to my stress and thus my eating.
There were times I didn’t even know I was doing it.
For example, my biggest weakness is soda. I’m an addict when it comes to Coca Cola and Dr. Pepper. Even now, it is my biggest hurdle to try to overcome. My ex worked for one of the leading soda distributors. So, he kept cases of them in our refrigerator. He even went so far as to put a variety of the flavors all along the bottom shelf for me to choose from. Now, some people drink coffee to get themselves going in the morning, for me, it was always a cold Dr. Pepper or Coke. What was worse is that I would literally drink one after another all day long. I would simply keep telling myself, “one more and then I will switch to water the rest of the day” but, I didn’t. Then, the next thing I knew the case would be empty and he would be bringing in another to take its place. Even after I told him to stop bringing them in and tried to explain.
Changing a habit is hard to do. We get set in our routines and when they aren’t working for our health sometimes it takes a jarring event to make us wake up and take note that it needs to change. For some people that is a health issue. For me it was the fact that none of it was making me happy. No matter how the epiphany hits you, changing to be happier is difficult.It is even harder when your efforts aren’t supported by the person you’re with.
I had come to a point that I nearly hated myself because simple tasks were far more difficult than they should have been for me. Things like washing the dishes, walking to the mailbox, going to the local Walmart for supplies were all too much for me to take. When that happened I had to fight with myself to keep going. There were days that it just didn’t seem worth the effort to even get out of the bed. I didn’t like the person I had become. I was not this depressed person who stared at her walls living vicariously through characters on a page all the time. But, I’d become that person and honestly, it was something of a relief that things fell apart the way that they did. It allowed me to find myself again and become the happy person that I am.
I haven’t really been dieting. There is no “skinny pill” or fad diet that melts away the pounds. What has truly worked for me is finding my happiness. I get out and do things with my family now. I go shopping just because I want to browse again. I take off and spend time with friends playing cards or just talking about whatever is on my mind. I take a little girl to the park, play games with her, and I generally stay busy. With that being said, I do eat less. There’s less emotional baggage to deal with and so, I don’t stress out and turn to food.
Finding my happiness took me a great deal of soul searching and pain. I had to lose everything I’d convinced myself I wanted in life. I had to start fresh, rediscover myself, and essentially reinvent the person I was into who I am now. Change is hard, yes. Being truly happy is its own reward really. Regardless of what size I end up; the important thing is to just stay happy. Life is just too short to let other people’s opinions of you weigh you down.