I usually don’t post controversial political things relevant to current events. I’m not a very publicly political person. I don’t enjoy the debate or the hate that it seems to initiate. There are all sorts of opinions and I really do think that the beauty of true freedom is that you can have them and still be civil to one another. We can, I hope, simply agree to disagree.
That being said, I feel very strongly about posting this viewpoint on recent events that happened here in Texas. Sutherland Springs has suffered an enormous tragedy at the hands of a mentally unstable man. I’ve read numerous reports from a number of news agencies that pointed out several things of note.
- The man was discharged from active military duty due to bad conduct involving a criminal offense of domestic violence in which he fractured his own child’s skull and faced rape allegations.
- The Air Force failed to report this conduct-related discharge as was policy. This allowed him to slip through the cracks of legislation already in place to control gun possession.
- The suggested motive in this was related to a domestic dispute. His mother-in-law attended the church regularly but was not there on Sunday.
Now, I’m a survivor of domestic abuse. Of course, I have pretty strong emotional reactions to things like this. Because, as I see it, this has all happened over a manipulative narcissistic need to control. This is a man with a history of violent behavior toward the women in his life. And, from experience, I can tell you that when a man like this feels he is losing control he often lashes out and he will make threats against anyone his target loves or cares for just to keep her in line. Isolation is control and that control makes them feel strong and powerful.
I’ve spent a lot of time trying to understand this sort of psychology/psychosis. Why? Because it seems that I attract it in spades. That fact alone makes me want to remain single. Once you go through a relationship like that you’re never quite the same. It is harder to let your guard down and trust because, let’s be real, all relationships are bliss in the beginning. The true colors come out once they think they have you hooked.
I’m not afraid of guns. I am, however, fearful of the people who have a blatant disregard for the law and human life.
What happened in Sutherland Springs is another tragic example of repercussions for not recognizing the psychosis and danger associated with domestic violence offenders. It really should open doors for communicating about mental healthcare in this country. The sad thing is that it won’t. Because these behaviors are largely normalized in our society. The women who become victims aren’t weak. They are strong in their desire to love another human being beyond the flaws. And when it does become clear that it isn’t safe anymore, these women often stay in an effort to protect the ones they love outside of that relationship.
So, yes, I’m praying for the wife of the shooter tonight. I can only imagine the horror she is living through right now. I am praying that she and the families of the victims get the help they need to grieve their loss and pick up the pieces. I pray that those, who can physically do so, will return to the church in solidarity to prove that their faith is in tact and evil will not prevail.
We live in an odd time. It is both scary and exciting. There are times I want to go out and do all the things but, at the same time there is a fear of even walking out the front door to do the most mundane of things. Some days the fear wins. Other days, I feel bold and determined to conquer that fear. Right now, I feel like crying for the senseless loss of life that happened in a place that should have been safe for all of those in attendance.
It is likely that I will cry. Aside from this tragedy it was a difficult day for me. For my part, I hope the rest of the week is smooth sailing. There are things to write and preparations to be made. And yes, dear readers, I promise a less heavy topic on my next posting. Something fun and creative is in the works. So please stick around.
My post about the Kickstarter fiasco last night. You know, the one where the douchebag was trying to produce a how-to guide on “getting women” that was more a guide on how to on sexual assault. The petition was met with some resistance initially. In fact, it seemed that Kickstarter was just ignoring the 60,000+ people who were against the funding of this project. However, as a signer of the petition I got an email from dosomething.org last night stating that “We Won”.
Kickstarter issued a formal statement of apology. You can view it here: Kickstater Apology . They donated $25,000.00 to RAINN, which is commendable considering that they gave Mr. Hoinsky the $16,000.00 + that was donated to his project. Apparently Mr. Hoinsky has agreed to meet with petition organizers though, what good that will do, I’m not entirely sure. I find it difficult to think that such a person can turn this into a positive project if he continues to produce what his examples exhibited.
I did a great deal of thinking and talking about this issue. My fiance and I actually discussed the whole situation at length and I realized a few things.
Yes, I was angry with Kickstarter for even allowing such a project to go onto the site and be presented to the public. I mean this, for me, is not considered a creative project. The project was not presented as satirical. Frankly, even if it had been presented as a comedic piece, I still would have found it offensive and in bad taste. However, if it had been presented as such, I could have justified it’s inclusion as a creative work. But the bottom line is that the examples submitted were nothing short of promoting sexual violence. I understand the reasons that Kickstarter hesitated and then funded the project. As a creator, if my project had funded, I would have expected to receive the funds as well. They wanted to fulfill their end of the bargain. Fact is, the process is so automated that by the time they acted, it was too late to stop the transfer of funds.
I get it. Really, I do. It still seems like too little too late.
There was no reason, given the severity of the allegations against this project, that it could not be suspended pending an investigation into the project and its compliance with the terms of service. As a creator, yes, it would have been an inconvenience to not receive the funds immediately. The fact is, if my project was on the level I know I would have received my funds once their inquiries were concluded. The fact that Kickstarter failed to act at all is my complaint.
After all the discussion – especially with Charles – I realized that while I was upset with Kickstarter, I was more upset with the fact that there were people out there willing to promote and support such an endeavor at all.
We’re living in the year 2013. I had hoped that, by and large, we had evolved beyond thinking that one sex or the other is there to be objectified. That we would somehow find a way to get past the nonsense that says women are there simply to fulfill some sort of physical need. That we can find a way to respect one another and live with a certain amount of respect for our fellow human beings.
Then, I remembered that every time you turn on the television, watch the news, or read online or in print you see story after story about people being abducted, raped, beaten, murdered, and tortured. If it isn’t here in the USA, its somewhere else. That, is what is really disheartening for me. That we can’t just live and let live. We can’t seem to get past our propensity to hurt one another. That there are handbooks on how to do these things and then, there are people out there, like Mr. Hoinsky, who are more than happy to put the ideas in people’s heads to do nothing more than harm others.
Yes, it is just sad to me that we can’t seem to get beyond it all.