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An Update On The Bad Situation

My post about the Kickstarter fiasco last night. You know, the one where the douchebag was trying to produce a how-to guide on “getting women” that was more a guide on how to on sexual assault. The petition was met with some resistance initially. In fact, it seemed that Kickstarter was just ignoring the 60,000+ people who were against the funding of this project. However, as a signer of the petition I got an email from last night stating that “We Won”.

Kickstarter issued a formal statement of apology. You can view it here: Kickstater Apology . They donated $25,000.00 to RAINN, which is commendable considering that they gave Mr. Hoinsky the $16,000.00 + that was donated to his project. Apparently Mr. Hoinsky has agreed to meet with petition organizers though, what good that will do, I’m not entirely sure. I find it difficult to think that such a person can turn this into a positive project if he continues to produce what his examples exhibited.

I did a great deal of thinking and talking about this issue. My fiance and I actually discussed the whole situation at length and I realized a few things.

Yes, I was angry with Kickstarter for even allowing such a project to go onto the site and be presented to the public. I mean this, for me, is not considered a creative project. The project was not presented as satirical. Frankly, even if it had been presented as a comedic piece, I still would have found it offensive and in bad taste. However, if it had been presented as such, I could have justified it’s inclusion as a creative work.  But the bottom line is that the examples submitted were nothing short of promoting sexual violence. I understand the reasons that Kickstarter hesitated and then funded the project. As a creator, if my project had funded, I would have expected to receive the funds as well. They wanted to fulfill their end of the bargain. Fact is, the process is so automated that by the time they acted, it was too late to stop the transfer of funds.

I get it. Really, I do. It still seems like too little too late.

There was no reason, given the severity of the allegations against this project, that it could not be suspended pending an investigation into the project and its compliance with the terms of service. As a creator, yes, it would have been an inconvenience to not receive the funds immediately. The fact is, if my project was on the level I know I would have received my funds once their inquiries were concluded. The fact that Kickstarter failed to act at all is my complaint.

After all the discussion – especially with Charles – I realized that while I was upset with Kickstarter, I was more upset with the fact that there were people out there willing to promote and support such an endeavor at all.

We’re living in the year 2013. I had hoped that, by and large, we had evolved beyond thinking that one sex or the other is there to be objectified. That we would somehow find a way to get past the nonsense that says women are there simply to fulfill some sort of physical need. That we can find a way to respect one another and live with a certain amount of respect for our fellow human beings.

Then, I remembered that every time you turn on the television, watch the news, or read online or in print you see story after story about people being abducted, raped, beaten, murdered, and tortured. If it isn’t here in the USA, its somewhere else. That, is what is really disheartening for me. That we can’t just live and let live. We can’t seem to get past our propensity to hurt one another. That there are handbooks on how to do these things and then, there are people out there, like Mr. Hoinsky, who are more than happy to put the ideas in people’s heads to do nothing more than harm others.

Yes, it is just sad to me that we can’t seem to get beyond it all.


A Long Overdue Update

I have been so super busy between work, discussing options, and writing that I hadn’t even realized that it had been a month since I updated this blog. This isn’t a bad thing for me. In fact, it means that things have been going very well for me. New relationships, new job (that I actually enjoy), writing projects are going well. Other than being sick yesterday, I have only minor complaints about my life at the moment. Those things that I am complaining about will be rectified soon enough.

There is something exciting about moving from one phase of your life to another. And I will admit that if you’d told me where I would be a year ago, I would likely have just laughed and replied, “Yeah, right.” But, here I am. And truth is, I am happier than I have ever been. I have so many amazing things in my life now that I couldn’t have had before. I attribute these changes to 3 things:

  • 1. My acceptance of my faith and putting my trust in God to direct my life.
  • 2. My realizing how utterly unhealthy my last relationship was and having the courage to do what I needed to do to get out of it.
  • 3. My amazing family who have been such a tremendous support system through all of this.

Honestly, one should never underestimate the importance of a good family. I’m not saying that every family is a good one. Certainly, there are some dysfunctional ones that you may be better staying away from but, I am blessed with at least one side of my family being awesome and I try to not take advantage of their support. They may not understand everything I do but, when a decision is made – no matter how they may talk me out of making that decision- they do their best to support it.

I am still working on that balance though. Between the part time work, spending time with family, and writing it gets a little strenuous on my time. Not that I’m complaining. In fact, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My time is spent doing things that I love and with the people I love. So, there isn’t much more in life that I can ask for. Well, with a couple of obvious exceptions in my neck of the woods.

As I write this, I’m on my lunch break from the day job excited that I’ll get more hours than normal this week. There are lots of things that I am looking forward to doing with the money; goals that I will be able to reach faster. I’m working on edits for the book and will be making some announcements on it soon (I hope). I’m developing a game plan, which is something that I’ve not had in a long time. I think things work better when you have some sort of plan and organization method.

I’m so proud right now though. One of the amazing parts of doing what I do is watching the difference it makes in the lives of the kids around me. I participated in the Young Author’s program when I was in school. A couple of weeks ago, I found out that my niece and my god daughter both have followed suit and won awards in their age group. Needless to say, I’m a proud Aunt at this point. It also motivates me to continue working on my own projects. It truly is amazing what influence a child can have on your life, even if they are not your own. Just knowing that they want to emulate you is enough to make you want to be the best person you can be.

Now, I am trying to work on getting my life in the order I want it to be. I’m trying to organize things for my work and jut for life in general. I have two projects to put to bed and I have others that are just getting started. I also know that I’m going to be moving again soon and setting up a new office in the process (along with the rest of the house) and I am trying to simplify and get things in order. That, my friends, is sometimes easier said than done.

Life is good though. I’m happy and working away on projects while spending time with the amazing people in my life and working at a day job that I enjoy. So, I can’t really ask for more than that at this point. Well, maybe I could ask for these edits to be done already but, that’s just part of this writer’s life.